first world problems, personified:

i wanna write you an email because i like chronicling my days, but at the same time i am hesitant to put my daily goings-on on paper {or on keyboard…} as they are not at all impressive or important in any way. 
 
i feel like i live my life with the only companions being the background noise from basic cable – kelly & michael @ 9am, anderson cooper @ 10am, the view @ 11am et cetera – and i judge my productivity based on at which point in the show queue i leave the apartment and stop piddling around on my laptop, half doing work & half reading crap on the internet. 
 
for the past few days i have had the worst, most pervasive throbbing headache at the base of my skull. i am not sure as to its origin; it could be a nagging mild allergy to cats {i had horrible migraines until i moved & left for college, so cats would explain it}, or it could be from staring at the computer/ipad/iphone screen 98% of the time, or it could be my body’s reaction to detox {after eating junk containing soy/devil’s piss/corn by-product material while at home, i have only eaten good & whole foods for the past two days – vega one protein smoothies for breakfast, salad with fish protein for lunch, juice for dinner – and haven’t had any coffee either}. 
 
so that’s probably the most significant thing about my recent routine. i literally just read blogs, read news posts, and daydream. i need to escape technology so badly. 
 
i got a message from a farm in north carolina inviting me to apply to work with them this season. it would be 40-50 hours a week, room & board included, $100/week stipend, april 1st – october 1st, possibly time for a small job on the side {leading me to think that i would have time for drill}. obviously that timeline isn’t exactly ideal, but if i could somehow get the va loan to cover that time period i would be able to afford to do it & i think it would be a healthy dose of reality albeit a somewhat impractical one. i don’t know what i would do with the apartment but i’m sure we could work something out with a storage unit! 
 
ugh. i don’t know. i’m just so unhappy in my meaningless day-to-day of going through the motions. i know, it’s selfish of me to complain about this monotony & worthlessness when 1) i’ve been dissatisfied with my professional life {or lack thereof} since bolc was over and 2) you’d probably prefer my meaningless routine here to afghanistan. 
 
i embody the first world problem. i really do. it’s horrible, but i almost envy the third world. all they need concern themselves with is finding food, water & keeping themselves protected from the elements and other people. they don’t feel a need to pursue any higher meaning, all they focus on is merely surviving. 
 
why is it that our society has developed in such a way that we are constantly striving to be busier & consistently more productive and somehow equate that with being successful? 
 
i think it is my rejection of that basic premise that led to my fascination with arab culture. here is a people that value the importance of family and quality time, preferring to take luxuriant breaks at midday, leave work early, and spend all day on simple business transactions just for the pleasure of the other person’s company. most americans take that behavior for laziness, but i admire it. i for one value my relationships with others over my relationship with this stupid laptop. 
 
this post by one of my absolute favorite bloggers {and upon which i stumbled earlier today in my blog perusal} has an interesting & similar take on the issue. 
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