FREEDOM

joy of joys: i finally did it! i am no longer suffering indignities at the hands of an overweight prego control freak. never again will I be forced to run out to get her fast food and coke (um hello there – do you care about your little fetus at all? baby cannot grow& thrive on chicken nuggets and soda…)!

i still have wedding planning and (for the next six years) natty guard.

i also still have big plans! i will use my life to help others and make a difference, whatever it takes. while i have yet to decide on the how of that mantra, i am dedicated to making myself useful.

i may go to nursing school.
{once I finish all five necessary prerequisite courses for my program of choice}

i may become a waitress slash bartender.
{to make decent money and pay back student loans}

i may move to the mountains to work on a farm.
{specifically one focusing on farm-to-table cuisine}

who knows yet?

all I know is i am free to do as i wish – to explore options until i find one that best fits me and fulfills my passions – and for that i am truly lucky.

as the sun sets over our backyard lagoon, so it does also over my career being a salon receptionist ;)
as the sun sets over our backyard lagoon, so it does also on my career as a salon receptionist ;)

confession:

i am horrible with confrontation. as {ahem} bitchy and cold as i can occasionally be, for some reason i find it hard to approach others about something that could (/will) upset them.

current case in point: quitting this damn job. it really shouldn’t be that difficult for me to just stand up and say,

HEY! :waves hand: LOOK AT ME! i just graduated from a not-so-shabby university, am a commissioned officer in the united states army, and have a lot to offer the world! i don’t deserve to sit here twiddling my thumbs for eight dollars an hour while you bitch at me about washing towels! i’m done!”

(sorry, that was a lot of exclamation points – all caps is just too abrasive for me right now)

why/how is it so hard for me to say that?!

ARGH.

a big part of my problem is i want to do it at the perfect time (doesn’t exist) and in a way that will preserve my relationship with my boss(es), who is a cool girl with a huge network of local small business owners {mentors} that will help me immensely in my {imagined} entrepreneurial future.

as my bff would say, i need to {figuratively} nut up & do it. this morning, i’m going to do it.

even though i don’t have a second job yet.

{well, aside from wedding planning… and national guard… umokayfine i have a few jobs, just not full-time ones}

even though bf is bugging me about paying for rent and assorted other bills which are all due soon. 

{i made more $$$$ during two weeks of national guard training that i would in two months of this job. depressing? hells yes}

even though i still haven’t gotten my hair done for free. 

{what kind of a girl works at a hair salon for 4+ months and never gets her hair cut/colored/anything, even though it’s gratis? i’m clearly a disgrace to womankind}

!!! خلاص  {enough! i’m done!}

BOOSH.

&& this ridiculous picture from halloween 2010 encapsulates how i feel
&& this ridiculous picture from halloween 2010 encapsulates how i feel