miniature {at the time of titling this post, so before even beginning to write & ergo potentially not miniature at all} rant:

Comcast is the worst cable // internet service provider of all time.

i’d love to go on and lay out exactly why that is, but honestly – doesn’t everyone know how terrible they are by now? surely this company has left no stone unturned in their quest to infect every city in the continental united states with their atrocious lack of customer service, their unheard-of {read: excessively lengthy} hold times if you dare call and request assistance with your service, and their shoddy internet that is inconsistent at best and downright disgraceful at its worst. it would be trite for me to continue with why they suck, because anything I could say has surely been said and lamented at some point {and likely by a myriad of disappointed, angry customers} before.

so I will just say this:

I don’t see why we have to subscribe to their cable service in the first place. when kdr was deployed, I got along just fine with the standard ten-or-so channels {I had jeopardy, I had scandal, I had the bachelor… not the most riveting, stimulating tv, but entertainment when I truly desired it nonetheless} and no internet at home. if anything, it was fabulous fun having a reason to leave the house during the day to make my pilgrimage to my own personal mecca, foxy loxy, and make use of their internet while enjoying a delicious yet affordable korean bbq taco.

sadly, however, kdr doesn’t see it this way.

{enter passive aggressive mode…}

my sweet, loving, wonderful fiancé needs – needs –  the internet to survive.

yes.

apparently – as i’m coming to learn – tv shows {mainly, in our household, watched via netflix or amazon or what have you – via some application that requires the internet, in any case} are a vital part of human existence.

they de-stress.

{coincidence that “de-stress” autocorrected to “distress”? I think not. autocorrect understands me.}

they enlighten.

they entertain.

they fill gaps in conversation with mindless drivel.

and above all, the internet gives us something to occupy our thoughts when we’d rather not think about reality.

{apparently.}

had a bad day at work?

don’t talk about it. surf gear patrol for new gadgets. put crap you don’t need in your amazon wishlist. find new ventures to support on kickstarter so you’ll end up with more things.

thingsthingsthingsthings – let’s accumulate as much as possible, as quickly as possible!

consumerism at its finest, no?

{because what really matters is how much stuff you acquire during your lifetime.}

i’m obviously not above this myself – is anyone, really? – and having the internet at home is a practical, useful thing most of the time. however–

do I want to continue to opt-in to a messed-up company’s monopoly on the market in this area?

no. no no no.

dealing with comcast is, in my mind at least, similar to dealing with factory farms.

just as I choose not to buy meat from factory farms and ergo opt out of the industrial food complex that has befallen our country, I would ideally choose to opt out of comcast’s shameful business practices by not giving them any of our money any longer.

{kdr is still in disagreement with me over this. so — oh well. housewives who do not make $ are not always in the most favorable bargaining position when it comes to household decisions like this. such is life.} 

I refuse to reward failure.

comcast may think it’s a successful company, being that it is so widespread in this area and surely turns a hefty profit, but that’s not the metric by which I choose to define success. the fact that they have zero interest in improving their customer service combined with their epically awful internet service make comcast a sad failure in my opinion. it’s a shame that they are allowed a monopoly on the market when they are so undedicated to their customers and the overall improvement of their product.

{yes, this post was prompted by the fact that the internet went out over five times in the past half-hour that I tried to write a blog post. I was originally going to write about something else entirely but that will have to wait for another day. you can thank comcast’s incompetence and devil-may-care attitude regarding their shoddy products. GRRR.}

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epiphany:

chassé. 

so THAT’S how you spell it!

it is a testament to the failure of my precocious pre-school + elementary school years as a ballerina that i am just now aware of the proper spelling of that word.

i always assumed it was spelled like “sashay”  or maybe “shasay” –

shows how much i know about ballet {hint: not much}.

it’s times like this that i realize i am not nearly as cultured as i aspire to be.

i am a downright philistine.

also, french words have a way of eluding me spelling-wise:

when i was in fourth grade, i entered our school spelling bee

{as one does at the tender age of nine years}

after winning the grade-level bee.

i’m on stage, ready for my word.

{which was supposedly chosen at random via a drawing out of a hat — stereotypes aside.}

i feel confident that i shall beast this bee as i did the previous one.

{incidentally, that year i was allowed to design my own spelling tests since the class tests were ridiculously easy. i also chose to go by the name ‘kinipela’ as it meant ‘white wave’ in hawaiian and was ergo a close approximation of ‘jennifer’ which i found out after creating for myself a hawaiian-themed spelling list – yes, i was am weird.}

so the judge delivers my word.

“your word is, ‘denier’.”

oh, f***, i am thinking in slightly more appropriate, nine-year-old terms.

“may i have the definition?”

i ask, slight panic in my voice, hoping to buy a scrap of time within which to come up with the best b.s. approximation of the proper spelling that i can.

“de·ni·er – /dəˈni(ə)r/: noun. a unit of weight by which the fineness of silk, rayon, or nylon yarn is measured, equal to the weight in grams of 9000 meters,”

 cites the judge dutifully, a glimmer of malice in her eyes.

what. does. that. even. mean ??? my little nine-year-old mind races.
well, there’s no point in delaying the inevitable.
i charge onward:
“d – e – n –
{pause as i decide whether to gamble or not…}
“u – r – e ?”
“i’m sorry, that is incorrect.”
{taking the safe spelling route did not pay off. clearly. darn it.}
:: cue my little heart and soul breaking ::
fast forward to the next week, when the school winner {on the word “giraffe” no less} rapidly loses in the first round at the county bee on the word…
“foreleg”
seriously.
{yeah, i’m clearly still bitter. fifteen years later. whatevs.}

infuriating nonsense:

having served in a number of homeless facilities over the years, i have always been aghast at the quality of food at their disposal. at a mission in chattanooga, tennessee where i served during the spring break of my senior year in college, the homeless were routinely given at least one moon pie per meal in addition to a cup of fruit swimming in high fructose corn syrup.

now, any food donations for the seriously hungry and under-served are generous and helpful. i’m not saying that shelters and missions should be ungrateful for the food that companies donate, even if what is donated shouldn’t necessarily be called food {moon pie ingredients include: enriched wheat flour, corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, sugar, partially hydrogenated vegetable oils, defatted soy flour, soybean oil, dutched cocoa, cocoa, gelatin, baking soda, soy lecithin, salt, artificial flavoring, and sodium sulfite. do you recognize any of those ingredients as food? i didn’t think so.}

HOWEVER. in light of the fact that shelf-stable “food” products comprise the bulk of donations to homeless shelters and missions, you would think that said establishments would be elated to receive donations of real food with which they could provide actual nourishment to patrons as opposed to the building blocks of debilitating health conditions for people already plagued, in most cases, by severe mental illness.

unfortunately, that is not the case in many areas.

an organization that sounds like it makes quite a bit of sense, called hunters for the hungry, essentially solves two problems at once: 1) the issue of deer overpopulation and its detrimental effects on the ecosystem as a whole and 2) hungry and/or homeless people who do not have access to adequate nutrition/protein sources. it is a common sense solution with a dual purpose and its founders should be applauded for their ingenuity.

venison is and always has been a perfectly acceptable, nutritious source of protein more than suitable for human consumption. i have eaten venison on a number of occasions, and i have quite a few friends who hunt and consume it on a regular basis as a cheap yet tasty meat.

why, then, are certain idiotic bureaucrats demanding it be destroyed and deem bulk donations of it unsuitable for human consumption? is it rancid? no. is it from sickened, factory-farmed deer? obviously not. is it from deer force-fed grains in order to plump them up and who are then given massive amounts of antibiotics to treat the problems created by eating foods that they are incapable of properly digesting? heck no.

yes. according to the fools in the article linked here, venison is less suitable for human consumption than moon pies, shelf-stable food “product” packaged in bpa-laden cans, and meat from what i am absolutely positive are not grass-fed or pastured animals.

the privately funded mission mentioned in the story is being forced to dump nearly 2k pounds of venison straight into the trash. nearly 2k pounds of perfectly good, nutritious protein just wasted.

please read the full story here.

first world problems, personified:

i wanna write you an email because i like chronicling my days, but at the same time i am hesitant to put my daily goings-on on paper {or on keyboard…} as they are not at all impressive or important in any way. 
 
i feel like i live my life with the only companions being the background noise from basic cable – kelly & michael @ 9am, anderson cooper @ 10am, the view @ 11am et cetera – and i judge my productivity based on at which point in the show queue i leave the apartment and stop piddling around on my laptop, half doing work & half reading crap on the internet. 
 
for the past few days i have had the worst, most pervasive throbbing headache at the base of my skull. i am not sure as to its origin; it could be a nagging mild allergy to cats {i had horrible migraines until i moved & left for college, so cats would explain it}, or it could be from staring at the computer/ipad/iphone screen 98% of the time, or it could be my body’s reaction to detox {after eating junk containing soy/devil’s piss/corn by-product material while at home, i have only eaten good & whole foods for the past two days – vega one protein smoothies for breakfast, salad with fish protein for lunch, juice for dinner – and haven’t had any coffee either}. 
 
so that’s probably the most significant thing about my recent routine. i literally just read blogs, read news posts, and daydream. i need to escape technology so badly. 
 
i got a message from a farm in north carolina inviting me to apply to work with them this season. it would be 40-50 hours a week, room & board included, $100/week stipend, april 1st – october 1st, possibly time for a small job on the side {leading me to think that i would have time for drill}. obviously that timeline isn’t exactly ideal, but if i could somehow get the va loan to cover that time period i would be able to afford to do it & i think it would be a healthy dose of reality albeit a somewhat impractical one. i don’t know what i would do with the apartment but i’m sure we could work something out with a storage unit! 
 
ugh. i don’t know. i’m just so unhappy in my meaningless day-to-day of going through the motions. i know, it’s selfish of me to complain about this monotony & worthlessness when 1) i’ve been dissatisfied with my professional life {or lack thereof} since bolc was over and 2) you’d probably prefer my meaningless routine here to afghanistan. 
 
i embody the first world problem. i really do. it’s horrible, but i almost envy the third world. all they need concern themselves with is finding food, water & keeping themselves protected from the elements and other people. they don’t feel a need to pursue any higher meaning, all they focus on is merely surviving. 
 
why is it that our society has developed in such a way that we are constantly striving to be busier & consistently more productive and somehow equate that with being successful? 
 
i think it is my rejection of that basic premise that led to my fascination with arab culture. here is a people that value the importance of family and quality time, preferring to take luxuriant breaks at midday, leave work early, and spend all day on simple business transactions just for the pleasure of the other person’s company. most americans take that behavior for laziness, but i admire it. i for one value my relationships with others over my relationship with this stupid laptop. 
 
this post by one of my absolute favorite bloggers {and upon which i stumbled earlier today in my blog perusal} has an interesting & similar take on the issue. 

deployments suck.

one day down, approximately two-hundred & seventy-seven days to go.

yesterday was awesome//awful. on the one hand, kdr + i spent a great deal of quality time together and enjoyed some extremely delicious eats. from brunch at the oh-so-snobby b. matthews {it’s literally semper packed when we attempt to go on weekends, so we’ve never gotten a table before} to the new b+d’s in city market {kdr devoured an entire pound of angus… insanity}, we stuffed ourselves. i even got kdr to try a bite of my favorite {frou-frou, girly dessert} macarons from maison de macaron!

we also spent a ton of quality time with roux, even undertaking the epic task of giving him a bath in our bath tub. since he is now a 45lb puppy, that is no small feat.

but. but.

evening eventually fell, and as the darkness set in so did the realization that we only had a couple more hours together.

worst. feeling. ever.

{nerd alert} you know the poem by catullus? catullus V? it’s the one where he writes,

“… da mihi basia mille deinde centum…”

and goes on and on about all of the hundreds of thousands of kisses that he and his beloved will give each other.

well, it was like that, but replace the “basia” with “lacrima” {or whatever the word for tears is in latin – give me a break; i’m a bit rusty} & you have a more accurate description of my evening yesterday.

dropping him off at his unit to get the bus to the airport to board the plane that will take him to the big, bad, stupid ‘Stan was one of the most awful, gut-wrenching, emotionally draining experiences of all time.

yeah, deployments suck.

my boys pre-dropping kdr off at the airport :(
my boys pre-dropping kdr off at the airport :(